I confess

I know even my well wishers will have a big laugh reading these lines

Er Rasheed
Srinagar, Publish Date: Jan 19 2018 11:05PM | Updated Date: Jan 19 2018 11:05PM
I confessFile Photo

For many Er. Rasheed is a dramatist, a joker, a spy, a nuisance, a suspicion, an actor, a proxy; but at least for myself I am a prisoner of my conscience eager to retain at least my own lost glory and self respect which has been snatched when I was not even born. I am one among the millions, no way different from them, who have grown up when the brutality and violence was at its peak. I still am not able to reach the conclusion why my emotional feelings and atmosphere of desperation and terror dragged me to politics in 2008, despite the fact I had never ever even cast my vote, though was entitled to do so in 1987 elections. However, my entry into Assembly strengthened my resolve to fight against all that what forced me to give up the Govt. Job in 2008. My few friends expected some “Achay Din” for me after being elected as MLA but it proved hope against hope and I became soft target for both mainstream and separatist camps. I know even my well wishers will have a big laugh while reading these lines for the reason I not only failed in the assembly till date but it made no difference to the sufferings I used face before 2008. Then I used to get beaten and humiliated by men in uniform at the roads and streets of Langate, tortured in Cargo and other police stations and nobody would know about it but now I am getting dragged and beaten in the most powerful assembly of India, four lane roads of Lalchowk and Delhi on cameras and humiliated in places like NIA Headquarters but all these incidents become of some minor news value for the journalists. In pre 2008 era it would be the local Army camps and police stations which would derive entertainment by hatching conspiracies against me but now it happens in power corridors in New Delhi and Srinagar and in Assembly and in offices of top agencies. Then I would be labeled as a militant sympathizer but now a Pakistani lover MLA. I confess having made no difference at the ground but let me claim that the least I have achieved is exposing the myth of democracy and every incident makes me remind the great revolutionary poet Habib Jalib. Whenever I face heat and humiliation in and outside assembly Habib Jalib’s verses would cross my mind. 

“Haq Baat Par Koday Aur Zindaan, 

Baatil Kay Shikanjay Main hay yeh Jaan, 

Inssan hain ki Sehmay Baithey Hain 

Khoon Khar Darinday Hain Rakhsaan………” 

My political opponents have compulsions to undermine my efforts to fight the issues I chose but I too have a right to ask the masses that if they have compromised everything. While I confess that I couldn’t make an impact at the political scenario of the state which was a desperate need but have a right to know from the masses that will angels come from the heaven and change their destiny, as there is nothing but darkness ahead of our future for the reason that the politicians have compromised their self respect. If my critics within mainstream camp as well as in the separatist camp have any better ideas to provide a vibrant and workable political road map or platform to fulfill aspirations of people of J&K besides ensuring them comparatively better possible governance, I am ready to follow anyone. The same desire made me to respond to the appeal of joint resistance leadership last year, when they asked mainstream politicians to join resistance camp but till date their response is better known to them only. I did my best to bring Omer Abdullah and Mehbooba Mufti close to each other so that their ego and personality clashes get minimized and their talent is used to achieve something respectable for people of state but failed in my little capacity; left no stone unturned to reach civil society and also tried to persuade other social and religious organizations to reach a consensus to fight for the rights of people but nothing materialized. Either lets claim that everything is fine in J&K and neither we have any political issues nor have any governance related problems; we need to give a political alternative that would replace not only the traditional exploiters inside the assembly but also speak sense to fulfill the political aspirations of people of the state. 

 

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